Tag Archives: coffee

Well

A lot has happened.

My world has fallen apart, and I’ve slowly been building it up again.

I thought I would keep performing while I did that, but it turns out that paperwork + Baltimore = no energy ever. I could handle lessons. I could plan. I could tell everyone I met about my vision for the music industry, but I could not get up in front of an audience and play a song. Then I went back to Simon’s Rock and played there. I scared a small child, and afterwards an amazing woman came up to me and whispered “You are a badass motherfucker.”

I couldn’t write a blog post, either. I started so many times, and everytime I looked at what I had written and thought “At best, everyone is going to worry about me killing myself,” so I never hit post.

My sister got a kitten. She cuddles with me every morning, and I’ve accidentally started her drinking coffee. She stands on her hind legs to beg every time I hold the carafe to my coffee machine. I swear I didn’t mean to.

I became Australian. All it took was several hundred dollars, three background checks, and all of the pain in my right hand and back as I spent hours upon hours upon days making sure I had filled out the forms neatly. “Give details of all employment and unemployment since birth…”

I have finally started flossing every day. No exceptions.

I came out as non-binary, and changed my name and pronouns. I am Lizard, and my pronouns are they/them. I don’t want to hear about how using my pronouns makes you feel stupid. That’s your problem. Facebook got over it, you can too.

I am no longer making plans to get my house somewhere pretty with some goats and cats, because, as much as I want to be, I am not that person yet. I don’t know what country I’m going to be living in in five years, and, for the first time in my life, I’m okay with that. I don’t talk too much about everything that happened as a teenager because it sounds made-up, surreal. What if people think I’m telling stories for attention?

What if I just stopped analysing my entire life and purpose, and embraced the fact that tonight I convinced an airline to halve the cost of my ticket with my words alone?

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Coffee + Internet > Life

So, contrary to my previous belief, coffee and the internet really does make everything better. I mean, I have always loved both, but I bought into the whole “isolation makes you lonely” and “coffee makes you jittery” thing. But want to know what I’ve discovered? 1) The internet is there to keep you company when you’d be lonely anyways, and 2) if you drink enough coffee, you will never be jittery again.

I’ve started reading a blog called xkcd sucks and enjoying it more than I thought I would. I do not hate xkcd. I quite like some of its strips. I do agree with this blog that it used to be better. (Also, do not buy xkcd’s “just shy” shirt if you think it will make people talk to you. Hair dye works much better. Though I do want a shirt that says “not shy, just antisocial, don’t talk to me” for the days when I am particularly anti-people.) I guess my main thought reading this blog is that it’s kind of nice reading well-written criticism and judging both the criticism and the comic for myself. I don’t do this kind of thing enough, and I should, with more than just webcomics, too.

I’m in a weird spot right now, because I thought I had the next 3 years completely planned out, but now I’m back to exploring my options. Also wishing that I wasn’t poor. But I really fail at sticking to plans. I have goals, but I keep coming up with new ways to reach them. I don’t think I’m in a place where I should just ignore these new ideas though, because I’m not completely convinced that the current plan is the best plan.

And now that I’ve written a kind of disjointed blog post, I will leave my lovely pyjamas and bed and go to class like a good girl.

12 minutes left.