Tag Archives: apathy

Flowers, Hermits, and Screaming Brains

So I said it would probably be a good idea to make myself do this everyday, so here goes. My brain is already screaming. I really need to get it used to working.

I’m looking at some flowers I bought the day before Valentine’s Day. Surprisingly, they’ve lasted really well. They’re still very bright and cheerful. See?

valentines_flowers.jpg

I like having flowers in the house. I keep thinking I should get flowers more regularly, but always talk myself out of it, either because of a lack of money, memory, or time. I feel silly for saying a lack of time. I have a ton of time. I only have a part-time job, and I don’t do much else. So it’s not so much a lack of time as it is apathy. I’ve hit a point where nothing feels like it will change, so nothing feels worth trying for. When I go hermit, I really go hermit. I come up with all these fantasies of what I’d like to be doing and give myself the reasons why they’d never work, the excuses that will allow me to keep reading tvtropes without feeling too guilty. Useless, yes, but never guilty. I’m tired of being a hermit. I should block tvtropes for a week and see what I get done. Actually, why stop at tvtropes? Cracked, facebook, twitter, and email all distract me just as much. Why not block the internet? Internet might be going a bit too far for me right now. I will block tvtropes and cracked though, right now.

Done.

12 minutes left.